Often, we are unaware at the onset, of the life changing potential these experiences hold in store.
Here is one example from my life.
When I was informed, back in 1990, that a requirement for my promotion to the position of Home Care Clinical Director was the pursuit of my Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing, I was not pleased.
I had taken two courses toward that advanced degree, in 1984, world literature and world philosophies, and due to life events, went no further.
I convinced myself that my prior education and experience as a nurse had served me well, that there was no need for further education, and went on with my life and career.
So, there I was, 6 years later, begrudgingly moving forward with the process necessary to resume study needed to attain my degree.
I chose a different program, at Webster University, one based in holistic nursing, which seemed a better fit with my personal philosophies.
My first course, Concepts in Professional Nursing, began Fall of 1991.
Although I made the decision, I wasn’t happy about the cost of the courses, nor the additional time this took from my family and personal interests.
Back in school
I was basically back in school because I ‘had to be’.
Little did I know how this decision and experience would change the trajectory of my career and my life.
You may know, from reading the, ‘About Me’, longer version, on my website, that the foundational reason for my ‘self-induced, stress-induced, health crisis in 1994, was poor choices I made.
A key to my recovery was compassionately exploring the underlying reasons for these poor choices.
Several interrelated reasons for less than optimal choices were basing my decisions on what others felt was ‘best’ for me, low self esteem and wanting to please others.
In those days my self-esteem was outwardly generated as I had little of my own.
Among the many ‘tools’ or resources that assisted me through my healing process, after my ultimate ‘crash and burn, December of 1994, was journaling, which I had started in 1993. I have continued to utilize this healing resource ever since, and share it as an option with my clients.
A few days ago, as I was doing more home office organizing, I was thrilled to come across a hand out I received over 20 years ago.
The source of the handout was a class I took in Fall of 1993 when I was in my 3rd year of working toward the Bachelor’s in Nursing degree.
The class was called, Roots of Religion: Journal Keeping.
This class set me on the path of journaling, which I continue to this day. Journaling is a tool to assist me in better knowing myself.
My instructor was Terry D. Cooper, Ed. D.
I was so happy to come across this information again.
I now share these suggestions with you.
21 Suggestions for a Better Relationship With Yourself – Terry D. Cooper, Ed.D.
1. Simply notice your self-abuse.
2. Understand your patterns of self-abandonment.
3. Pay attention to your judgements of others, and ask where the judgments come from.
4. Let some of the air out of your inflated self.
5. See discomfort as chance to grow.
6. Accept that you’ll always be somewhat of a mystery.
7. Promise that you won’t shame your feelings.
8. Ask what your feelings are trying to tell you.
9. Accept guilt only as a teacher, and not as condemnation.
10. Talk about your mistakes and insecurities with trusted friends.
11. Allow yourself to grieve your losses.
12. Connect yourself with supportive people.
13. Protect yourself from abusive relationships.
14. Watch out for comparisons with others.
15. Challenge what you so easily call “normal”.
16. Attempt new things, even when you lack confidence.
17. Regularly recognize your strengths.
18. Pursue your goals without making them “gods”.
19. Don’t forget: Your body is part of you, so remember exercise and nutrition.
20. Reach out to others and a vision larger than yourself.
21. Remember that self-esteem is an ongoing issue.
Seeing the end that could not be seen in the beginning
The ‘forced’ decision to pursue completion of my Bachelor’s degree was a defining moment of my life.
My introduction to holistic nursing and to energy based and complementary therapies came to me because of my involvement in the curriculum.
Defining and life changing period, for sure.
What have been a few of your life defining moments or experiences? Were able to foreseen the potential benefits in the beginning? What do you think about these 21 suggestions? Do any of them resonate with you?
I would love to hear from you.